CALGARY NEXT

Eye Opener Bob
Copyright 1974 Western Producer Book Service
207 pages,
ISBN 0-919306-46-2.

"Passing Shaver and Graham's undertaking rooms, he espied
the hearse standing outside all ready hitched up, the end doors open
where you shove in the coffin. He began to wonder what it felt like
to be a corpse in a hearse. The driver being in the office, he seized
the favorable opportunity to find out what the sensation was like
and crawled inside, slamming the end doors after him. Hearing the
doors slam, the horses thought the funeral had started and promptly
ran off down the Avenue. The gentleman rattled around inside like
a pea and from the way the handles were fixed, could not open the
door from the inside. Away down near Fourth Street a couple of
new N.W.M.P. recruits were walking up from the barracks and saw
the hearse coming tearing down the street. Here, thought they, was
the time to make a rep. and get in line for promotion. Stepping out
in the middle of the road they succeeded in stopping the runaways,
which they tied to a post pending developments. They thought they
had better see if there was a corpse inside and, if so, if it was all safe.
Opening the end doors and peering in, they saw a dilapidated form
creeping gingerly towards them. With a yell they took to their heels
and made for the barracks on the dead run, looking back fearfully
over their shoulders as they ran. The man himself got sobered up
with the jolting and, mounting the seat drove the hearse back to the
infuriated proprietors. As for the policemen, all the satisfaction they
got when they related the gruesome story was a lecture from the
Sergeant-Major on the dangers of going up against Calgary whiskey.
He advised them to cut it out." (April 30, 1904)

There was a sporting spirit about that Calgary to which Bob Edwards went in 1904; a good horse race would empty the offices on Stephen Avenue any afternoon, and a boxing match would leave most Calgary women sitting alone at home for an evening. Much of the credit for outdoor sports and games belonged with the two-fisted fire chief, James "Cappie" Smart, of whom Bob Edwards saw much in after years. Cappie was the official starter for all road races and administered justice at hockey and boxing matches. Bob Edwards knew more than he would tell about a Calgary-Edmonton hockey match played on the Elbow River with ten players on each side, and ending in a free-for-all with both referee Cappie Smart and his chunky pal, Bob Edwards, in the m'idst of it.

What a man was Calgary's Cappie who occupied the office of fire chief for thirty-five years after 1898! Arriving from his native Scotland in 1883, he did some carpentry work in Calgary and then tried undertaking; but it was at a fire or a fight that he was at his commanding best. It was Cappie Smart more than any other factor that caused Calgary boys to resolve to be firemen - perhaps to reach the eminence of chief and stand conspicuously beside a burning building, megaphone in hand, and roar commands to his men. There was one embarrassment about Cappie's thunderous performance at a fire; smoke, he explained, made him swear, and sometimes his language was as scorching as the flames he was fighting.

The fire chief knew nothing about writing editorials, and Bob Edwards knew nothing about fighting fires; but in other respects there was striking similarity. Cappie was just a year younger than Bob; both were Scots; both departed from the ways of sobriety too often; and both were extremely fond of horses. Indeed, Cappie Smart's fire horses were the pride of all Calgary. When a visitor to the city was considered sufficiently distinguished., he rated a demonstration run by the fire rigs - usually in the direction of the brewery. White Wings, an old gray mare whose job was to pull the two-wheeled chemical cart, was a special favorite. It happened once that the fireman fell off the cart as it drew away from the fire hall, but the old mare dashed away as usual and didn't stop until she reached the scene of the fire.

One of the grandstand attractions at the Dominion Exhibition at Calgary in 1908 was a demonstration by two horses from the local fire hall. It was Calgary's biggest exhibition effort up to that time, with top features like daily flights by "Strobel's airship," and the EYE OPENER issuing a clarion call: "All the inhabitants of the earth, civilized and uncivilized, rich and poor, honest and from Ottawa, are cordially invited to the Dominion Fair, June 29 to July 9 ..." Cappie's two fine horses were released on the infield in front of the grandstand and a fire wagon was placed on the track with harness suspended in front of it. An alarm bell was sounded, and the horses abandoned their grass and freedom and bounded at what they recognized as the call of duty to stand in front of the wagon long enough for the harness to be dropped and fastened. Then away they went at a gallop to round the track for a madly cheering crowd. Bob Edwards, who was a frequent visitor at the horse stalls in the fire hall, was just as proud of the performance as though he had trained the horses himself.

Another quality Bob and Cappie had in common was generosity; and there is the testimony of an early resident who knew both, that when Christmas was passed, "Cappie Smart and Bob Edwards were always broke," having spent as lavishly as their resources would allow on Christmas charity for needy folk in the city.

Actually, the fire brigade - many of whose members began as volunteers with a reward of 75 cents for each fire attended - was a dominant force in the social life of Calgary. Cappie's firefighters had the best brass band; they staged the annual Twenty-fourth of May sports program; and they sponsored the leading social event of the year, the St. Patrick's Day Ball. There at the Ball, held in the Hull Opera House on the comer of Angus Avenue and McTavish (6th Avenue and Centre Street), Calgary's most stylish clothes were displayed. Still, nobody stayed away because he or she did not have fine things to wear. Even Mary Fulham, early Calgary's celebrated keeper of pigs and disturber of the peace, would be present, dressed in paddy-green to guard against any possible doubt about her nationality.

Soon after Bob Edwards arrived in Calgary, Paddy Nolan saw to it that he met Mrs. Fulham, best known as "Mother" Fulham, whose residence and piggery were on Angus Avenue, not far from where Eaton's store now stands. Of medium height, plump, and scandalously dressed, Irish Mother Fulham could neither read nor write. But that did not stop her from speaking loudly and often, as she did when there seemed the slightest provocation. She considered herself to be the highest authority on pigs. To feed her herd she gathered garbage from various hotels: the Alberta, the Royal, the Queen's, the Windsor; and from some restaurants.

On the Seventeenth of March she went to the Ball and on the Twelfth of July she again dressed in green and hurled defiance at the marching Orangemen. Now and then she celebrated too freely; and when she had to be taken to police headquarters, it was a task calling for the entire police force - Chief English and his two constables. Even on court appearance, whether plaintiff or defendant, Mary Fulham did not hesitate to speak for herself, but Paddy Nolan usually acted for her. And when the Fulllam-Nolan combination was to appear in court, all Calgary, it seemed, wanted to be present. Bob Edwards found Calgary people still talking about a case of a few years before, when the court room had been too small.

It was like this: Driving her spotted pony and democrat, Mary Fulham had arrived at the back of the Alberta Hotel just in time to observe a Chinese employee from the hotel bent over the barrel of garbage, presumably stealing pig feed. There was an altercation, with resulting bruises and black eyes. The magistrate couldn't satisfy himself about who did most of the hitting; and so, after prolonging the case a reasonable time for purposes of public entertainment, he dismissed it.

Cleanliness was not one of the lady's virtues, and as Bob Edwards soon learned, Dr. H. G. Mackid had shocking demonstration of the fact. Meeting the doctor on Stephen Avenue, she reported a sore foot. The kindly pioneer doctor, who had practiced in Calgary from the time of his arrival in 1889, said, "Come in to Templeton's Drug Store and I'll look at it." Together they entered the store, and promptly the woman took off a stocking. Glancing with some horror at the bare leg, Dr. Mackid exclaimed: "By George, I'd bet a dollar that's the dirtiest leg in Calgary."